Collecting money for a joint present might overcome the competitive gift-giving, but it can still cause friction.

Parents know the drill: as the end of summer term rolls in it's time to think about thank-yous for the teachers after another year of hard work and tested patience. But just how generous should you be? Is £5 too much? Or too little? And what about support staff like teaching assistants, canteen staff and librarians? With many parents strapped for cash and heading into the holidays, it's an extra expense to budget for and an awkward etiquette to negotiate. Plus, what used to be a simple matter of buying chocolate and writing a card has been overtaken by an organisational extravaganza, with class reps sending out a flurry of Whatsapps to drum up contributions, before passing round the collective card, and deciding on flowers, spa days, wine or vouchers. At her South East London primary school, collections have reached as much as £560, which is split between the teacher and teaching assistants. For a class of 30, that works out at more than £18 per child. On top of this, she says there are usually bake sales and ice cream sales in June and July to raise money for the school, as well as collections for support staff who are leaving or members of the PTA. The mother-of-two, who didn't want to share her name, said she and her partner "were not in an uncomfortable position" but still "feel the strain". "Sometimes you are asked to put money into someone's bank account and there's a lot of pressure there. You can't just put a few quid in or you'll seem tight."